i am a Fury
i see this irony (at 22) when you feast on Teledrama and consider the plots and think
it is so far fetched it could never happen to me!!!
tell me when my life turned into an HBO drama
now i know how more young men boast naked crowns on their heads
/rub rub rub/
i spend half my days knotting my hair (and bouncing my knee two pots of coffee deep)
stripped of my royalty
product of catholicism CATHOLIC SCHOOL conveniently catholic
when you hit the point where you are giving your parent relationship advice:
(i really think you need to realize that secretly getting on the pill is not going to solve anything and if he doesn’t want to fuck you with a condom then i don’t think your relationship is healthy and if you can tell us everything and he can’t tell them everything then i think there is so much no-no [i’m sorry i am making you cry but this is painful for me too])
we have decades on each other
you have months on each other
and reciprocated sacrifice is love
remember that time i wished i was dead and i begged for a roundtrip for springbreak
so i initially came home to tell you that i’d rather’ve been dead and that was better than finishing school
well look at me now: i didn’t back out b/c i was too afraid of disappointing you
FEAR AS A COPING MECHANISM and sometimes i think of what i’ve done has been more for you than for me, but really, i think it was mostly for the both of us
those feelings of deadness have began to subside (but can so easily come back like those times i remember kissing [slobbering? {licking?}] Justin Stones on the asphalt at Adeste or that singe of pain in my right Achilles every time i kicked off the wall each turn in the 100 breast)
i do no resent you for giving me life for bringing me into this world but i also think you forget that joke about you being able to so easily take me out of it is GARLICKY
pungent and flavourful and everlasting and strong and repulsively in excess
HA! YOU ARE HALF WAY ROUND THE WORLD i am tracking holes in the carpet mm mmmmm and my lips are swollen
I SING IN THE SHOWER
I SING TO OUR DISHES IN THE SUDSY SINK
my forbearance is lasting to July and i’m gonna make $1k this month and i feel like a noodle behind the wheel these days
THE SECRETS NEED TO STOP:
I LIED TO YOU ABOUT BEN, OKAY?
this has become a lengthy development from me i have spilled on here
not even the half of what i need to jump on but i have had this feeling in these breaths
(so hard to breathe most days
now that we have a poltergeist living in the fridge)
i am washed with the need to make my way to Wrightwood
just so I can S C REAM
and NOBODY CAN HEAR ME
but when you return i want to be back in the sea
it is where i belong